I’m Back. I’m Back like Jordan in ‘95. I’m Back like Jay-Z in ‘06. I’m back like when the lady in the drive thru window forgot your extra biscuit and jalapeno pepper….I’m back with a vengeance. The “back” im referring to is Howard University. Howard and I have a very unique relationship with each other. In fact, as I write this blurb, I have a hold on my account because I owe the university $4,200. This dance between Howard and I started in 2010 when I applied for the sociology masters program. Initially, I was denied, well that was until my mama dearest contacted the sociology department head and insisted they admit me into the program. I thought my mom efforts were going to go unnoticed. I mean, Howard only accepted the “Black elite” right? I assumed that I wasn’t up to par. Lo and behold the department head at the time, Dr. Livingston obliged my mothers request. I don’t know what my mama said, but it worked. I eventually left Arkansas with all my stuff packed up and ready to go, I drove the entire 18 hours to D.C. Moved into my dorm room and got scared. To be clear, this is where Toni Morrison, Stockley Carmichael cut their teeth and contributed so much to the American fabric; could I really compete? I was cowardice and I ran back to what was comfortable, which was Little Rock, AR. and received my masters degree from the University of Central Arkansas. Albeit, an accomplishment but a regret nonetheless.
In 2016, 4 years later and now a D.C. resident, I re-applied to the program and I got accepted with a full scholarship! I was excited, and elated that I got to make good on a goal that I previously fumbled. I was a few years older and maybe somewhat more wiser, but still intimidated. Be clear, the students in my cohort were sharp, all very knowledgeable and had a hunger like no other. My cohort had a certain level of intensity that I could not match. The sociology department was/is a gladiator school. I wasn’t ready, I lost my appetite. Perhaps, my hunger for more had been satiated with my accomplishments and sense of entitlement that I gotten while working within the Peace Corps machine. I felt like I should be given shit, just because it was me. The nerve… My cohort let me know only the strong survive, by out-performing me… I thought since I had the full scholarship, the department knew my worth and would not let me go. I was super wrong. I had the rude awakening that somebody is waiting to take down the person on top, especially when what’s at stake is a pot of money for tuition remission. Even more so, because Howard is really expensive, and the department has more students than it can actually fund. So, as the great orator and griot Notorious B.I.G so eloquently put it “my reign on top was short like leprechauns.” I finished the year fully funded with a B average, which is not good enough, especially when there are students that were taking more classes than me with an A average. The spoils and the money go to winner, which was not me. So I left Howard, because I thought I was treated unfairly, when in actuality, there were others that deserved that funding more than I.
So fast forward, a lot of life happens between 2016 and 2018, that would result to me looking back to get in the sociology program…
Soo…..
I’m attending the real HU for a third time. This time it feels better than what it did two years prior. Perhaps I’m more lucid. We can chalk that up to being a little older and maybe a little wiser. Or the fact that I have a really good support system that knows me well enough to encourage me to keep going. People like Dr. Robert Perkins that have been along the ride with me in this sociological pursuit since 2006 at Norfolk State University. I took his racial and cultural minorities class and it completely changed my life. I thought the guy was cool…. (now that I think about it, he may have been my first Black male educator.) Dr. Perkins completely changed my life and my view of academia, as well as increased my interest in becoming a member of Alpha Phi Alpha. He seemed to have a lot of control over his life, something I admired. I studied Dr. Perkins’ style and adopted his blueprint, “so inspired by his style decided to try it myself”. His mentorship for the past 13 years has meant a great deal to me. He was a big reason I revisited the idea of going back to finish what I started at Howard. For that I am appreciative.
Me and Dr. Perkins…
The first week of the new semester for my third time attending Howard, Dr. Perkins, asked me if I wanted to attend the U.S. Open Tennis Match in NYC. He said he had free tickets with the potential to see Coco Gauff and Serena Williams compete, and I was all in. I don’t know anything about tennis but I couldn’t think of a better way to start the school year off with my mentor, and sociological inspiration. To me it was symbolic, almost as if this were my knighting ceremony, passing of the torch, rite of passage, or whatever you want to call it. Either way it meant a lot to me. Hopefully, in the years to come, I will do the same thing for the person that decides to follow in my footsteps.
Pending…..Master of all that I survey
Master and Ph.D. cohorts!! A group of students that are hungry… Check me in the back looking scared, like a don’t belong.
My students in Intro to Sociology, the first class that I am a teachers assistant. This was my first time administering a test on behalf of Dr. Livingston. More teaching to come!!